on being alone (again!)

There are days when the reality of losing my closest friend hits me really hard. I think it will take some time to get used to the fact that I can’t run to him anymore when I’m lonely or when I need someone to talk to. That’s not how the rules of “it’s over” work.

I know it’s just fear. Fear of being alone again. Fear of not having a helper. Fear of not having someone to share your happiness or loneliness with. But at the end of the day, it's just fear. Yes, I can feel fear but HE who loves me is greater and real than my fears.

I saw this poem on fear while surfing the net.

~ 0 ~

I feared being alone
Until I learned to like Myself.
I feared failure
Until I realized that I only Fail when I don't try.
I feared success
Until I realized that I had to try in order to be happy with myself.

I feared people's opinions
Until I learned that people would have opinions about me anyway.
I feared rejection
Until I learned to have faith in myself.
I feared pain
Until I learned that it's necessary for growth.

I feared the truth
Until I saw the ugliness in lies.
I feared life
Until I experienced its beauty.
I feared death
Until I realized that it's not an end, but a beginning.

I feared my destiny,
Until I realized that I had the power to change my life.
I feared hate
Until I saw that it was nothing more than ignorance.
I feared love
Until it touched my heart, making the darkness fade into endless sunny days.

I feared ridicule
Until I learned how to laugh at myself.
I feared growing old
Until I realized that I gained wisdom every day.
I feared the future
Until I realized that Life just kept getting better.
I feared the past
Until I realized that It could no longer hurt me.

I feared the dark
Until I saw the beauty of the starlight.
I feared the light
Until I learned that the Truth would give me Strength.
I feared change,
Until I saw that even the most beautiful butterfly had to undergo a Metamorphosis before it could fly.

sushi me!

I now know how to make sushi! Whohoooo!

Would you believe that when I was still in the Phils you would never catch me feasting on sushi? Just one sushi roll and that would be enough for me to run to the toilets to throw up.

I don’t know what happened to my taste buds but suddenly I craved for sushi. Sushi! Ssushi! Sushi! Sushi is all I could think of, especially this past weeks.

Instead of spending a couple of dollars every now and then to satisfy my cravings, I decided to buy the ingredients and make them myself. The result? I’m having sushi almost every day now!

Yum! Yum!

~ 0 ~

The first fruits of my chili plant!

After more than a year of tender loving care, it finally decided to reward me for my efforts.

Here’s to more chilies in the future!!!

white flag

I’ve reached that point where I am now willing to face reality. No more illusions. No more hoping for changes that will never eventuate. No more looking at the past with rose-coloured glasses.

Now that I already have the closure I needed, it’s time to end this chapter, to leave the past behind and move forward.

I’ve awaken from my deep slumber.

I deserve God's best and you're not it.